Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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