He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
