I hate all girls vehemently.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
