ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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