I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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