I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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