i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize