You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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