"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
