The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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