I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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