You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
