Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
