I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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