we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize