found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
