Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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