How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
