mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish you could order shots online.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
