wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
