Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
