It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
