You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
how drunk are you?
Several
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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