I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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