i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
