dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
