I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
