there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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