There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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