I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Randomize
