Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
