i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
