So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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