Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
