the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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