Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
