I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
