Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
