I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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