my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
