sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize