There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
