try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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