I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
