69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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