On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
