Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
