On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
