Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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