no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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