I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
