So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
