this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
