What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
