After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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