i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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