Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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