sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
