Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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