You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
